1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003 ♪ dramatic theme playing ♪ 2 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,967 Good job, guys! 3 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:11,345 All in all, I'd say it was a pretty successful 4 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,890 Eyes Wide Shut sex party slash fundraiser for UNICEF. 5 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:17,100 ‐ The time traveling glory hole was a great touch. 6 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,353 Dirty Randy's still going at it, aren't ya, bud? 7 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:23,232 ‐ Whoa‐ho! My dong inadvertently caused the assassination of JFK! 8 00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:25,025 ‐ Wasn't that a B‐story on Modern Family? 9 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,986 That party sucked. No one wanted to sacrifice Ragu. 10 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,280 No way the petting zoo's gonna take him back 11 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,990 with that haunted look in his eyes. 12 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,246 I finally did it! 13 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:40,499 I perfectly deboned this brrranzino. 14 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,710 It took me 147 tries but‐‐ Wait, wh‐where is everyone? 15 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,712 ‐ Party's over, man. You took too long with the fish. 16 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,840 I told you, just order Burger Lounge. 17 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,509 Everyone at an orgy expects to be eating Burger Lounge. 18 00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:52,761 Eat Clean, Fuck Dirty. 19 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,681 ‐ I guess I'll just enjoy this perfectly deboned European Sea Bass 20 00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:56,807 by myself. 21 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,144 ‐ Should we save him? 22 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,188 ‐ Yeah, I guess give him the Shlorplich maneuver. 23 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:08,569 ‐ Just for the record, I was just 24 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,320 pretending to choke. 25 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,122 ‐ Ah crap, the Pupa's blue. 26 00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:22,499 ‐ Uh, what does that mean? ‐ You're the Pupa specialist! 27 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:25,127 ‐ Right... and what does that mean? 28 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,422 ‐ Aisha, access the Pupa's informational color swatches. 29 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,342 Okay, royal blue means the Pupa has kennel cough, 30 00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:35,721 cornflower blue means one of us just had a sex dream about the other one, 31 00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:37,890 navy blue means his Hulu plan is expiring, 32 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,808 robin's egg blue means we get a free Xbox, 33 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:41,935 Pacific blue means we all die at midnight! 34 00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,230 ‐ We were so close to gettin' that Xbox! 35 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:48,192 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia 36 00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,194 until the asteroid hit. 37 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,864 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa 38 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,908 and escaped into, uh, the space, 39 00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:58,327 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds. 40 00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:01,955 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet. 41 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,707 That's right, I've been talking this whole time. 42 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,459 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo. 43 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,335 This is, this is my show. 44 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:07,878 I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me? 45 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,254 This is ridiculous. 46 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,256 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home. 47 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:12,132 People are stupid. 48 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,884 They love having robots do their jobs, 49 00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,802 but they don't create a system of universal income 50 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,180 so they can have money after the robots take their jobs. 51 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:19,223 It makes no sense! 52 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,275 ‐ Okay, let me break it down for you. 53 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,902 ‐ Oh yeah, baby, break it down, break it down‐‐ 54 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,111 ‐ Shut the fuck up, Terry! 55 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,447 Since the Pupa's turned blue, he's been emitting a protein dust 56 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,241 that triggers a natural mechanism in our bodies 57 00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,492 that kills us in 12 hours. 58 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,370 ‐ Ooh, stakes! People are listening now! 59 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,913 ‐ After we die, the Pupa will eat us, 60 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:45,082 then evolve and terraform this shit stain of a planet 61 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,375 into the image of our home world. 62 00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:48,460 ‐ Hey, alright! That means we're closer to completing the mission. 63 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:49,294 We are so good at this! 64 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:52,256 ‐ I bet when I die, I'll be so popular at school. 65 00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:55,050 Last year, Jeannie Scarlatos got crowned homecoming queen 66 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,969 after a moose kicked her in the heart. 67 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:58,554 ‐ Ooh, I've never died before! 68 00:02:58,554 --> 00:03:00,889 But I have seen Weekend at Bernie's like a hundred times, 69 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:03,100 so I guarantee it's gonna be hilarious. 70 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,852 ‐ You know, dying is gonna be great for all of us. 71 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,979 Let's gather all our stuff and burn it on the front lawn. 72 00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,939 I don't want any humans touching my shit while I'm dead. 73 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,357 And then we can dig the pits we die in. 74 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:11,900 Ooh, I gotta get my shovel back from Keith. 75 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,403 ‐ Better hurry, Pupa's looking hungry. 76 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,782 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 77 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,537 ‐ Keith, whatever dumb shit you're doing right now, stop. 78 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:26,290 ‐ Korvo! Hey, buddy, 79 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,000 "Fruit By Keith By The Foot." 80 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,293 I'm making my own fruit snacks. 81 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:31,003 ‐ I don't have time for your crazy neighbor antics. 82 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:31,879 Give me back my shovel. 83 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,630 ‐ Oh okay. You digging a hole or something? 84 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:36,258 ‐ If you must know, I'm gonna be dying in about 12 hours, 85 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:37,384 and I need to dig my death hole. 86 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:40,053 ‐ Oh my God. Korvo, I'm so sorry. Are you sick? 87 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,722 ‐ No, it's complicated alien shit. 88 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,473 I'm not gonna sit here and explain it to a moron. 89 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,059 ‐ Well, I gotta say, I'm impressed with your attitude. 90 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,937 If I knew I was going to die today, I'd be freaking out. 91 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:49,688 ‐ What? Why? 92 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,732 ‐ I mean, you know, death is so final. 93 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,526 There's so much I'd feel like I need to do in my life before I die. 94 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,612 ‐ What do you mean "death is final"? 95 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,866 ‐ Oh, oh, guys. Um, after we burn our stuff, let's salt the Earth, 96 00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:02,534 you know, like, just for safety. ‐ Guys! Guys, stop! 97 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,119 We were lied to about what happens when you die! 98 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:06,455 ‐ Does this mean we actually get that Xbox? 99 00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:08,999 I call first dibs, I wanna play the Moonlight LEGO game! 100 00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:10,584 ‐ No! Do know what YOLO means? 101 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,085 ‐ Isn't it like the white version of FUBU? 102 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,296 ‐ No! Keith just told me that when you die, that's it, 103 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,464 you don't get to do anything after! 104 00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,882 Y‐you cease to exist! 105 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:17,883 ‐ What? No, no, no, no. 106 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,844 Look, I watch a lot of cartoons, and death is not a big deal. 107 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,596 ‐ Apparently, those cartoons aren't accurate! 108 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,806 This whole time, we were supposed to be living fulfilling lives! 109 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,350 He's also making his own fruit leather, 110 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:29,019 and I made fun of it until I tried some, and it's actually really good. 111 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,063 ‐ But we're dying in 11 hours. 112 00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:32,940 Well, how are we supposed to live full lives 113 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,359 in the same amount of time it takes to digest a McFlurry? 114 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,319 ‐ Hey! Maybe we're already fulfilled. 115 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:40,155 One of my tweets did get a like from Post Malone. 116 00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:41,406 He's pretty busy. 117 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:44,117 ‐ Oh my God, you're right! Maybe we are fulfilled. To the ship! 118 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,620 The dictionary defines fulfillment as 119 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:50,874 "being satisfied or happy as a result of fully developing one's character." 120 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,793 ‐ Okay, yeah, tha‐‐ I mean, that sounds like us. 121 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:53,836 We've done that, I think. 122 00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:55,504 Ayeesh, pull up the fulfillment meters. 123 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,675 ‐ Fuck ass, look at that! We're hardly fulfilled at all! 124 00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,301 Aisha, how much time do we have until death? 125 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,971 ‐ Eleven hours, 43 minutes, and 23 seconds. 126 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:04,930 Cripes! ‐ Aw, fuckers! 127 00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,765 ‐ Okay, calm down. We still have time to get fulfilled. 128 00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:08,350 It's gonna be tight, so no time to waste. 129 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,811 Everyone needs to write down all the things that will make you fulfilled. 130 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:11,979 You have one hour. Go! 131 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:20,362 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 132 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,949 ‐ Ugh, why did we waste a whole hour writing these ideas? 133 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:26,201 I did mine in, like, five minutes then Googled up‐kilt pictures 134 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,327 the rest of the time. 135 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,954 There's some big ol' dongs in that. 136 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,164 ‐ Geez, there's a lot of these. "Learn how to crip walk." 137 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,624 "Shoot an avenge porn." 138 00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:33,834 "Fight the Property Brothers." 139 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,210 ‐ Yay! The pink ones are mine! 140 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,920 ‐ Crip walk dancing isn't gonna move the needle. 141 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,630 We have to do the one that makes us the most fulfilled 142 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:39,631 in the least amount of time. 143 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,008 ‐ Win a Teen Choice Award? 144 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,676 ‐ It's the last step to winning an AGOT. 145 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,262 Adult Video News, Grammy, Oscar, and Teen Choice. 146 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:47,472 ‐ Part of an AGOT won't do it. You need the whole AGOT. 147 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,183 ‐ End global warming? ‐ That's mine. 148 00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:51,143 I don't know, it felt like something people talk about, right? 149 00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:54,104 ‐ Too easy. We could just do that with our End Global Warming Ray. 150 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,315 ‐ Hunt down and kill Carmen Sandiego. 151 00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:57,524 Hell yeah, this one's mine. 152 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,902 Fuck Carmen Sandiego, always rubbing it in our face 153 00:05:59,902 --> 00:06:01,111 that she gets to travel for a living! 154 00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:03,572 ‐ "Help a rag‐tag group of kids win a sports championship." 155 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:04,406 Hey, that's it! What? 156 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:06,074 Why would we care about that? It sounds stupid. 157 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:08,285 ‐ Hey, that's not stupid, that's my idea! 158 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,369 ‐ Yes, we don't care about it. 159 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,331 But if we do care about it after we finish, then we'll be fulfilled 160 00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:13,916 just like Gordon Bombay in The Mighty Ducks! 161 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,667 ‐ Told you it wasn't stupid, Yumyulack! 162 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,127 ‐ Oh, it was totally stupid, Jesse. 163 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:19,004 But then I figured out a way to make it cool. 164 00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,631 Come on, no time to waste. 165 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:23,091 Goddamn, you motherfuckers are back again? 166 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,052 We need you to find us the nearest championship game. 167 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,387 ‐ Okay, it's kinda out of season but let me see. 168 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,432 The closest option is a water polo championship 169 00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:32,643 in Rio De Janeiro. Y'all got swimming suits? 170 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:35,312 Ugh, water polo is just wet hockey. It'll have to do. 171 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:39,233 ‐ The Solar Opposites are going to Brazil to get fulfilled! 172 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:46,198 ‐ Stop that! We don't have time for any cool establishing shots! 173 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,329 ‐ Ah, that took way too long! 174 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,164 Come on, let's find the rag‐taggers and get on with this. 175 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:58,418 ♪ rock music playing ♪ 176 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,889 ‐ Holy guacamole, mama like. 177 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,933 ‐ Goddammit, none of these guys are rag‐taggy at all. 178 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,310 They swim all day, of course they look like Greek fucking Gods. 179 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,980 ‐ Who cares? Just pick a team and I'll zap 'em with the Rag Tag Ray. 180 00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,984 ‐ Asthmatic and from a C‐list South American country? Boom. 181 00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:27,948 ‐ Now they're tagged to the rag. 182 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,283 ‐ You missed one. ‐ No, I didn't. 183 00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:30,993 ‐ I just want to win for my dad. 184 00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:33,036 He has butt cancer in his heart. 185 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,372 ‐ Okay, guys, I know you're super rag‐tag and down on your luck 186 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,332 but if you listen to our coaching and work as a team, 187 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,375 we can go all the way! 188 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,002 Plus we have to do this as fast as possible. 189 00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:41,879 ‐ I just want to make my dad proud. 190 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:43,839 He got his heart butt cancer from smoking. 191 00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:44,882 ‐ We get it. 192 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,402 ‐ I love you, butt cancer dad! 193 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,780 Thank you for making us champions. 194 00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,448 But can you turn me back to young. 195 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,492 I was so hot and had a beautiful voice 196 00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:54,952 and got tons of pussy. 197 00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:56,954 No, we have to get back and see how fulfilled we are. 198 00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:59,498 Hurry, hurry! Check the meters. Are‐are‐are we fulfilled? 199 00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:01,041 ‐ I feel pretty dang satisfied! 200 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,377 ‐ Oh shit! They've hardly moved at all. 201 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:04,461 ‐ No! That should've worked. 202 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,422 ‐ We wasted so much time on that stupid water polo thing. 203 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,132 ‐ Jesus Christ, the Pupa looks so hungry. 204 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,302 ‐ I can't go down like this! 205 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,137 Ugh! You know what? You're all holding me back! 206 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,640 Fuck you, guys, I'm getting fulfilled by myself! 207 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,392 ‐ Okay, I'm gonna go. Fuck you! ‐ Give me a slip. 208 00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:20,143 Fuck you losers! 209 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,023 Help an old lady across the street. 210 00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,860 Why are all of Korvo's ideas about doing stuff to old ladies? 211 00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:28,819 Hey, Granny! Stop! 212 00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,446 ‐ Ugh! You're hurting me! ‐ No, I'm not, this is helping! 213 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:34,199 ‐ I need to go to the bus on the other side of the street. 214 00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,492 ‐ No time! I'm getting fulfilled! 215 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,870 Ah, what the fuck! Ah! ‐ Eat shit! 216 00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:41,957 ‐ Teach someone to read. Ugh, stupid Jesse. 217 00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:43,208 Why can't I do something awesome, 218 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,169 like see how many grapes I can fit in my mouth? 219 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,381 Now your baby can read. You're welcome! 220 00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:50,299 ‐ What? Why? 221 00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,509 ‐ Now you can read. Getting fulfilled! 222 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,595 ‐ I could already read, I'm a famous novelist. 223 00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,013 ‐ Now your hat can read! 224 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,723 ‐ Stop that! What are you doing? 225 00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:58,432 ‐ Your car can read! ‐ Help! 226 00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,726 This alien is educating my things! 227 00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:02,436 ‐ Stop right there, you dirty alien! 228 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,605 Oh God, I can read? What if I gain empathy? 229 00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,481 What if I learn things that force me to re‐evaluate 230 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,774 my hardline conservative opinions? 231 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,651 ‐ Ahh! ‐ Oh my God! 232 00:10:10,569 --> 00:10:12,654 I don't have a lot of time, so I have to learn how to skydive 233 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:13,906 and get baptized at the same time. 234 00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:17,159 ‐ I'm certified by the FAA and our Lord and Savior‐‐ 235 00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:18,660 ‐ Jesus Christ! 236 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,455 ‐ Dunk your head in the holy water! 237 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:24,499 Korvo, I now baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and the‐‐ 238 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:25,918 Oh shit, I dropped the bowl! 239 00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:26,835 ‐ Fuck, fuck, fuck! 240 00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:38,055 ‐ Oh, looks like God was on our side! 241 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,433 Although his ways are mysterious. 242 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,061 What are you doing, little girl? 243 00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:47,147 ‐ I'm freein' the Willys, ya dumb cracker! 244 00:10:54,947 --> 00:10:57,449 Have fun being free, Willys! 245 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:04,414 ‐ Alright, Jake Slater, you have been kissed. 246 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,917 Just to be clear, this probably would have fulfilled Jesse more than me. 247 00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,378 ‐ Whoa. I've never been kissed like that before. 248 00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:10,462 Will you go to prom with me? 249 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,922 ‐ Depends on what you're wearing! 250 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:14,633 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 251 00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:28,272 ‐ What the fuck are you doing here? ‐ Hello, Ms. Frankie. 252 00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:31,233 Yumyulack wanted to tell you "to go fuck yourself twice, 253 00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:33,485 you has‐been bag of stinky dog piss." 254 00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,028 ‐ Hurtful but continue. 255 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,530 ‐ And Terry wanted to‐‐ 256 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,739 Oh, hells no. 257 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:38,657 ‐ What is it? 258 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:41,785 ♪ Ke$ha's Die Young playing ♪ 259 00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,622 ‐ ♪ I hear your heart beat ♪ 260 00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,040 ♪ To the beat of the drums ♪ 261 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,250 ‐ I'm watching you! 262 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,169 ‐ But I'm dancing like you're not! ‐ Aah! 263 00:11:50,169 --> 00:11:52,588 ‐ ♪ Came here with someone ♪ 264 00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:59,678 ♪ Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young ♪ 265 00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,644 ♪ We're gonna die young ♪ 266 00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:14,651 ♪ Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young ♪ 267 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,949 ‐ Don't‐‐ Oh! 268 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,534 ‐ Dammit, Frankie, I'm on the clock. 269 00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:28,832 ‐ Wait, Samantha! Don't get on that plane. I love you. 270 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:31,001 ‐ What? Me? I don't know you! 271 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,127 ‐ I love you more than anything I've ever‐‐ 272 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,965 ‐ ♪ Livin' hard just like we should ♪ 273 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,843 ♪ Don't care who's watchin' when we tearin' it up ♪ 274 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:40,802 ♪ You know ♪ 275 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,555 ♪ That magic that we got nobody can touch ♪ 276 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:44,556 ♪ Fo' sho' ♪ 277 00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:47,392 ♪ Lookin' for some trouble tonight ♪ 278 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:48,268 ♪ Yeah ♪ 279 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,980 ♪ Take my hand I'll show you the wild side ♪ 280 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:56,610 ♪ Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young ♪ 281 00:12:57,903 --> 00:12:59,446 TERRY : Man, that was some good fulfilling! 282 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,573 ‐ I'm so fulfull, I'm gonna yack. 283 00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,618 ‐ Let's not start tuggin' each other's nonexistent dicks quite yet. 284 00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:05,702 We don't know if it worked. 285 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,663 ‐ Oh, I have a feeling I'm completely fulfilled. 286 00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:10,165 I didn't give a woman six and a half orgasms for nothing. 287 00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:13,544 Aisha, pull up our fulfillment meters and prepare to be impressed. 288 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,463 Mostly? What the fuck? 289 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:19,424 ‐ What? I don't understand, we did all our slips! 290 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,717 ‐ Ooh, my word of the day! 291 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,511 Today's word is dilatory, 292 00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:24,513 meaning moving or proceeding at less than normal speed. 293 00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,516 I am dilatory all the time 294 00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,643 because I'm kinda lazy and fuckin' stupid. 295 00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,644 Ooh! 296 00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:34,398 Oh my God, I'm fulfilled! I did it! I feel amazing! 297 00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:35,732 I YOLO'd and you didn't! 298 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,150 You're Yo‐Losers! 299 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,905 ‐ Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's that button? Ha ha! 300 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:43,365 Whoo! 301 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:46,118 Fuck you! Fuck you! And fuck you! 302 00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:47,578 ‐ Shut up, Terry! You suck. 303 00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:48,537 ‐ Yeah, shut up! 304 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,372 ‐ Make me, you unfulfilled motherfuckers! 305 00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:51,456 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 306 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:56,211 ‐ Ah geez, he really splatted. 307 00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:58,255 It wasn't even that much of a fall. 308 00:13:58,255 --> 00:13:59,590 ‐ Hey, that's my "b" guys. 309 00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:03,135 Stop licking Terry's blood, you Ragu! Show some respect! 310 00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,553 ‐ Wait a minute. When Terry died, 311 00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:07,097 it looks like his fulfillment points transferred over to me. 312 00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:08,473 I'm almost fulfilled now. 313 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,017 ‐ Holy shit, I guess we're in a 314 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:12,519 "there‐can‐only‐be‐one" Highlander‐ type situation. 315 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,771 ‐ Wait, I thought that show was about a hot nurse 316 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,982 who goes back in time to get her ass eaten out? 317 00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,025 ‐ No, that's Outlander. 318 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,235 Highlander means if one of us kills the other two, 319 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:21,904 we'd be totally fulfilled before we die. 320 00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:22,821 ‐ Okay. That tracks. 321 00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:24,406 ‐ But we would never kill each other, right? 322 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:25,866 I mean, w‐we're a family. 323 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,951 ‐ Yeah. That's, that's what we all think. ‐ Sure. A family. 324 00:14:28,619 --> 00:14:31,955 ‐ I'm gonna go mourn Terry in another part of the house. 325 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:35,459 ‐ I'm gonna go do, uh, some Solar Opposites stuff. 326 00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:39,004 ‐ And I am going to go write a Rotten Tomatoes user review 327 00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:40,380 of The Dark World. 328 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,759 So people can know my thoughts on that particular Thor movie. 329 00:14:46,345 --> 00:14:49,389 ‐ It's so great that we're not preparing to kill each other. 330 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,974 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 331 00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:06,448 ‐ Hey, beautiful. You ready to fuck shit up? 332 00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:13,080 Dammit. Why did I design this to only turn when you go backwards? 333 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:17,751 ‐ Perfect. 334 00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:21,547 ‐ Aisha, I need that magic potion. The one we keep in Narnia? 335 00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:23,382 We promised we would never go back. 336 00:15:23,382 --> 00:15:25,759 No, the secret magic potion that Jewish wizard taught me! 337 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,052 Hurry! 338 00:15:27,803 --> 00:15:29,763 Baruch Atah Adonai 339 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,849 Expellilumus Leviosa... 340 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,101 Ugh! 341 00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:43,902 ‐ No fair, you have a tank! 342 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:46,947 ‐ Yeah, and I'm gonna blast you and develop the shit out of my character! 343 00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:50,158 ‐ Maybe that would have worked before I made my magic me's! 344 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,285 Come on out, boys! 345 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:53,912 ‐ That's not fair! 346 00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:56,039 ‐ Jesse, what did you do? Aren't you trying to kill us too? 347 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:58,792 ‐ Oh gosh, no. I would never do that to my family. 348 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,003 ‐ Typical Jesse. So stupid. 349 00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:03,505 ‐ Ow! ‐ Oww! 350 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:06,049 ‐ Psych! I Home Alone'd the whole house! 351 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:08,051 Welcome to Hell, boys! 352 00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,305 ‐ Die, you creepy little Korvos! 353 00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:17,352 Oh! 354 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:27,196 Ah! 355 00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:33,911 ‐ Ha! Try getting all those feathers off of you! 356 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,718 ‐ I'm gonna kill that kid! 357 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,015 ‐ Come out here, normal‐sized Korvo! 358 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:57,601 It's time for me to finish you! ‐ Not quite yet! 359 00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:02,064 Meet ogre Korvo. 360 00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:04,107 Or as I like to call him, Orgo. 361 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:20,874 Aah‐‐ 362 00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,800 ‐ Oh my God, Yumyulack is dead! 363 00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:32,594 My brother from another toe mother! 364 00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:34,263 ‐ Yeah, I killed him, and you're next. 365 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:40,394 Wait a minute. W‐what are we doing? This feels wrong. 366 00:17:40,394 --> 00:17:42,980 Should we really be killing each other just to get these stupid points? 367 00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:45,440 ‐ I was just thinking the same thing! 368 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,193 We should have spent these last 12 hours with each other, 369 00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:50,362 enjoying the company of family. 370 00:17:50,362 --> 00:17:52,489 ‐ I'm sorry, Jesse. Y‐you're right. 371 00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:56,243 ‐ Korvo, I'm scared. 372 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:58,203 Is, is dying gonna hurt? 373 00:17:58,203 --> 00:18:01,206 ‐ No, I, I think it'll be peaceful, li‐li‐like falling asleep. 374 00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:03,959 ‐ Well, I'm glad that at least we'll die together. 375 00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:06,336 ‐ You know what? Maybe spending time with people you love 376 00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:07,880 is what gives your life meaning. 377 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,674 Not some bucket list or making a history teacher cum so hard 378 00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:12,384 she loses feeling in her left side? 379 00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:13,927 ‐ Korvo, that's beautiful. 380 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,512 Come here, ya big lug. 381 00:18:21,018 --> 00:18:22,269 No, Korvo! 382 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:24,938 My last booby trap, I forgot all about it! 383 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,608 I'm so sorry! No! 384 00:18:27,608 --> 00:18:28,859 Wait! 385 00:18:30,986 --> 00:18:32,654 I'm fulfilled! 386 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:33,989 It feels amazing! 387 00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,783 I'm fulfilled, mother scratchers! 388 00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:39,786 ‐ But I only have a minute left. 389 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,121 I gotta do this right. 390 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:42,998 Korvo said it's all about family. 391 00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:45,918 It's time to bring this baby full circle. 392 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,138 Goodbye, Pupa. 393 00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:01,642 Remember not to eat us too fast or you'll get a tummy ache. 394 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,523 Any moment now. 395 00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:12,402 Maybe that old clock was just a little fast. 396 00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:18,283 Ah cripes, 397 00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,994 did I kill our family for no reason? I hate when‐‐ 398 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,204 Holy sh‐‐ 399 00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:44,184 ‐ Look at that Pupa eating our fruit. 400 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,603 Maybe save some and make a jam, you little fatty! 401 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:48,230 ‐ Alright, so w‐what next? 402 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,732 Is the Pupa gonna terraform the world once he's done eating the fruit? 403 00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:52,734 ‐ You're the Pupa specialist! ‐ Right, right, right, right. 404 00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:55,654 No, I‐I‐I meant like for everyone else who doesn't know what the Pupa does. 405 00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:56,655 ‐ Jesus, Terry. No. 406 00:19:56,655 --> 00:19:58,907 There's like a bunch more steps in his evolution after this. 407 00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:01,451 This is just step eight. Or‐or nine. I don't know. 408 00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:04,872 ‐ Oh, look at him go. You were a hungry little Pupa, weren't you? 409 00:20:04,872 --> 00:20:06,915 Pupa, get over here and suck the sap off my trunk! 410 00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,084 ‐ Whoa, you're all trees now? 411 00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:11,295 ‐ Of course we are. We‐we died and came back as trees. 412 00:20:11,295 --> 00:20:12,254 Why do you sound surprised? 413 00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:13,964 ‐ 'Cause it's fuckin' crazy. 414 00:20:13,964 --> 00:20:16,175 When humans die, we just turn into rotten mush. 415 00:20:16,175 --> 00:20:17,634 We don't come back as trees. 416 00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:20,179 ‐ Okay, smartass, but then where did all the trees come from? 417 00:20:20,179 --> 00:20:21,013 I mean, they're everywhere. 418 00:20:21,013 --> 00:20:22,431 ‐ I don't know, those are just trees. 419 00:20:22,431 --> 00:20:24,558 ‐ You're telling me human death operates by different rules 420 00:20:24,558 --> 00:20:26,476 and we didn't have to get fulfilled before we died? 421 00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:27,269 ‐ I guess not. 422 00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:29,563 ‐ We destroyed our house because of your bullshit, Keith! 423 00:20:29,563 --> 00:20:30,814 ‐ How was I supposed to know? 424 00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:31,940 ‐ Fuck you, Keith! You suck! 425 00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:35,444 And your Fruit by Keith by the Foot tastes like Poop by Keith from the Butt! 426 00:20:35,444 --> 00:20:38,030 ‐ I wasted my cool‐ass hidden tank because of you! 427 00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:40,032 ‐ Jesus Christ, calm down! I thought you were dying! 428 00:20:40,032 --> 00:20:41,325 ‐ You're a piece of shit, Keith! Fuck you! 429 00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:42,618 ‐ Hey! Ow! 430 00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:43,744 Stop! ‐ Die, die! 431 00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,537 ‐ When we grow our legs back, we're gonna kill you! 432 00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:47,080 ‐ Yeah, Keith! ‐ I was just trying to help! 433 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,249 ‐ You better move, Keith! You better change your identity! 434 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,668 We're going to spend the rest of our lives hunting your stupid ass down! 435 00:20:52,336 --> 00:20:55,422 Wow, it turns out hatin' on Keith together 436 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:57,508 was what finally fulfilled them all. 437 00:20:57,508 --> 00:20:59,510 Ah , I feel so fulfilled! ‐ Me too! 438 00:20:59,510 --> 00:21:02,596 ‐ Aw, this is amazing. We should've just been tormenting Keith all along. 439 00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:04,640 ‐ It's so nice to be fulfilled as a family. 440 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,392 Whoa‐ho‐ho! I can already see my feet starting to form, 441 00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:08,894 so you better pack up, you little bitch! 442 00:21:08,894 --> 00:21:10,562 ‐ You don't know how many seasons we're gonna have, Keith! 443 00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:12,814 We're aliens. We can grow into trees and come back 444 00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:13,982 season after season! 445 00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:15,067 I'm gonna cut your eyes out! 446 00:21:15,067 --> 00:21:16,109 ‐ Yeah, I'm gonna kick you in the dick! 447 00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:19,821 ‐ You know guys, all in all, 448 00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:22,616 this was a pretty satisfying end to our day. 449 00:21:22,616 --> 00:21:24,743 ‐ Yeah, that's actually kind of the end to our whole year. 450 00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:26,870 Man, what a run. We did a lot this year. 451 00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:27,788 ‐ Wait, that's really the end? 452 00:21:27,788 --> 00:21:30,123 We ran around worrying about death, that's how we go out? 453 00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:33,043 ‐ Yeah, I mean, what else do you want? Some fuckin' hacky holiday special? 454 00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:36,672 I would never, ever, in a million years do something as lame and cash‐grabby 455 00:21:36,672 --> 00:21:38,423 as a Solar Opposites holiday special. 456 00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:40,384 ‐ Yeah, the Solar Opposites have integrity. 457 00:21:40,384 --> 00:21:41,426 ‐ That's right. We have integrity! 458 00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:43,345 And we would never sacrifice that for anything‐‐ 459 00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:44,179 Hold on, hold on. 460 00:21:44,179 --> 00:21:45,931 I'm getting a text from Hulu. 461 00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:48,559 Huh. ‐ What does it say, Korvo? 462 00:21:48,559 --> 00:21:50,978 Is it about our integrity? 463 00:21:50,978 --> 00:21:53,313 ‐ Sort of. Goddammit. 464 00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:56,692 ♪ folksy Hark! The Herald Angels Sing playing ♪ 465 00:21:56,692 --> 00:22:02,155 ♪ dramatic theme playing ♪